Monday, September 15, 2008

Giving Up

So yeah, it's been awhile, yet again. My excuse? None. Angry, bored, apathetic. I'm done here at my job. I have no responsibilities now. I am the office maid. I refused to go to the birthday celebration for September today because I knew they would all sit there waiting for me to serve them. Would they be surprised that all I really want to do is shove the cake in their faces? I ordered said cake to be delivered on Friday. Today is Monday and I discover they didn't bother to serve it. Do you know why? I wasn't here to cut it up for them! I fucking kid you not. My boss knows how I feel - he looked at me today and said so what are you going to do. I said I'm not going in there, if they sit long enough one of them will get up and do it. He says so I guess I'm doing it then. I said if you wish. His response: don't order any more birthday cakes. I said PERFECT, thinking in my head of course it's perfect because mine would be next for October anyway. I didn't get a cake last year either. There's something inherently wrong with ordering your own cake, going to pick it up, and then cutting it and serving it to ungrateful assholes.

I have applied to a job today. I don't know if they will respond, but at least it is nearby and has the title I currently hold. I wonder if they would like it if I used my brain. I do really enjoy that, you know. Too bad this place won't let me. I am staying entirely away from everyone, to as much extent as I can. I am sure by now it is well known that I hate everyone. Probably about as much as they hate me. This is how I know I can not continue here, much as I would have liked to stay here forever until the end of my career, I know I can not feel this bad every day and be ok with that. Money is not the issue for me anymore. Vacation is not the issue. Of course I have to find a job that I can continue to pay my necessities, I'm not stupid, but it is now decided that I will move on. No more waffling about the idea. I am looking hardcore. I know it may take awhile, but I am committed to my search and will keep looking until I find my calling.

I wish someone needed an Executive Assistant at like a pet store or something so I could play with the animals. Except for the cats... damn those allergies! Here's to dreaming anyway...