The Beckoning

One of my very many pet peeves is with this one guy here (we'll call him Forest Gump cuz he stutters like him) who always beckons people via email. You can be sitting at your desk all day long and only 15 feet away from his doorway and instead of getting up to speak to you he will send you an email that says "come see me". What? Come see you? Fuck you. I am so NOT coming to see you. Ok, well usually I do, but I make him wait hours. This time I didn't go see him at all, and he came to my desk this morning to say "can you come see me" and I said "I see you right now". (God I am such a smart ass I will get fired for that alone some day.) He explains to me how he is troubled by the badges and thinks they won't work in our other facilities. I say of course it won't work, it's just a freakin photo ID with your employee number on it. I said it won't even get you in a movie theater much less a high security facility. Damn idiot. He talks at me for awhile not realizing that I am an intelligent human being and already did all of research and talked to the appropriate people. Yeah cuz after working with me for 9 years he knows I'm half-assed like that (me being sarcastic). He finally leaves, satisfied with my responses. I wonder sometimes how I maintain the strength and dignity to not just grab someone by the cuff and say listen you mother fucker, just do what I tell you and stop giving me lip. I have dreams of doing that.

In any case, the other admins hate to be beckoned as well. We talk about it all the time. This morning, Esmerelda sends me a beckoning email: "come see me about the keys". I'm like WHATTTT? I go to her desk and say "Yes Forest". She's all like huh, what do you mean? As if. She knew exactly what she did. Yet she looks at me like I'm the crazy one. Well I am crazy just look into my eyes. I'll show them all crazy (insert evil laugh here).