Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Office Turkeys

I've just discovered that Esmerelda and Esther are taking a week vacation together over the Thanksgiving holiday. They've disguised their lesbian love getaway by saying their husbands are coming along, but I'm starting to see the light. I'm only sad that they're not hot lesbians. At least I could get in some good fantasy time while I daydream. Instead my mind rebels when I think of the crotchety cranky Esmerelda screaming that she's cumming while wrinkly old Esther shoves various vegetables (grown from her very own garden of course) up Esmerelda's vajayjay. I just threw up in my mouth a little.

It's very funny to think they are keeping secrets from me. They haven't realized that I know all, I see all and not alot escapes my attention. They did this last year too, and when they realized that I knew they spent at least an hour apologizing to me for not telling me (as if I really cared). I know Esther doesn't like me - she gives me no eye contact when I ask her to do something. Esmerelda actually used to be my friend before Esther came along, but I think they have more in common with each other than with me with the age thing. And of course they both have husbands, which I do not. I sometimes think they resent me because I'm in a higher position than both of them and they're older than I am by about 10+ years. But hey, I put in my time here, I worked in this pit for almost 10 years and I've earned my title. They've been here 2 years and think they're hot shit. They have no clue, but I love it when they leave on vacations together. It's the only time I feel I can relax in the office and not have to watch my back or figure out why someone moved stuff around. (Funny example: I had a war with one of them, not sure which one, but in the kitchen there is a Keurig machine for coffee and I kept putting the cups on top of the machine and one them kept moving it on the left - exactly where the hot water tap was, which didn't make any sense to me at all. I guess it was really passive-aggressive of me to keep moving it back where I wanted it to be, but dammit, I'm the fucking queen bitch here, so deal with it!)

In any case, I'm really looking forward to Thanksgiving :)


The Guv'ner said...

Too funny. I hope that vegetable was a tiny mini carrot because if Esther's vahjayjay is clenched anything like as tight as her butthole that's all that stands a chance of entrance.

EW. Just ew.

the Secretary said...

Hee heeeee... I will get so many looks for laughing so hard at my computer!