Monday, June 2, 2008

Accomplished & Broke

Ok, it's Monday, I have gotten up and showered and what do I discover? Yes, while planting in the garden this weekend I have been totally chewed to peices. Bitten by black flies and other bugs all over. I am so itchy, it's crazy. I am putting benadryl cream on as we speak. Let's hope it works.

Ok, now I need some feedback. I am a bridesmaid in my friend's wedding. She chose her matron of honor as a person I don't know, but they went to college together and she lives very far away from us. I thought we were going to be friends, but now I am pretty sure I can't stand her. Here is the story: Bride asked me to help her mom, so I got in touch and went to Mom's house to offer my slave labor services. Turns out, mom told me I had to throw the bridal shower. Took me completely off guard, and I was like 'oh I thought I was here to help you' and she says no, this is your responsibility. So I say well ok, let's talk about it. I agree to some things and she gives me MOH's phone number and says call her to work it out. I say ok and we talk a few times. MOH is pissed at mom. She says it is brides mom to pay for the party and not us. However, I finally get her to agree it is our thing to do and we agree that I will do the entire party and split the bill. Her part came to $80. That's it. I totally went out of my way, made invitations, made a wish box, made all the food (except the cake and two dishes each mom made) so I was feeling pretty good about the whole thing. Well that was back in mid-May and this bitch still has not paid me. As a matter of fact, she flat out refuses and says it's not her problem, she shouldn't be expected to pay for a party she didn't attend. I am completely flabborgasted. So now I need to know what YOU think. Is it the MOH's responsibility? Is it the mom's? Is it mine? All I know is that she is coming closer to the wedding and I have decided to not help her pay for the bachelorette party. I will pay for my drinks and drinks of the bride, but I will not pay for the transportation or any other entertainment. Oh, we are taking a boat ride, so I will pay for my own ticket, which is $20. I haven't told the MOH this yet, but I would think she probably realizes that's my plan. So anyway, I want to hear from you guys, tell me what traditions are, please. I don't know how to handle this situation.


doodlebelle said...

OMG. And I don't even say OMG. That is complete B.S. It is NOT your responsibility to throw the shower. That was the Mom's job. Why did she put that on you? Usually the Mom throws the "G" rated shower. (Things the bride registered for) She would know who to invite. Surely she knows who was on the guest list. Then, it would be the MOH who would throw a "friends only" shower. (Lingerie, etc.)That is, if it was appropriate in this case. Obviously you need to recover your $ by not contributing to the party. Or be a good little door mat and don't cause any controversy, because that is SO like you.

The Lady Who Doesn't Lunch: said...

It is traditionally the maid/matron of honor's responsibility to throw the shower. Your friends mother was totally in the wrong tell you it was your responsibility. And worse yet, not honor the agreement you made.

That being said - do you really want to come to blows with your friend's mom over $80? I think you are well within your rights to not pay for the bachelorette party.

Obviously your friend's mother is not an honorable person since she chooses not to keep up her end of the bargain about the party expenses.

Hopefully it won't reflect on your friendship and you can just avoid your friends trashy mother in the future.

Her mom was wrong, but you don't want this to turn into an episode of Jerry Springer.

The Secretary said...

Doodlebelle - really, it's the mother's job? That's what the MOH says, but internet research says so many different things. And more than one shower? OMG! My tab is already up to $800 I can't even imagine having another party.

Lady - No blows here, I am taking the high road. And it's not her mom that owes me the money, it is the MOH. Update on this: two weeks later she sent $50 and has informed me she will be spending the other $30 that she owes me on "adult store" stuff for the bride. I just said whatever... I don't have time to argue about $30 anyway.